so im going on haiatus from life. except ive not really been on alot. ok, thats all for now...no reply plz

like i said, its been WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY too long. i was starting to miss people here. lets see, whats happened since ive been on...ive finished junior year, been rejected, had my heart broken, found out one of my best friends is gay, nearly gone insane (several times), nearly tried to beat someone within an inch of his life, had to protect someone i love from someone i call a monster, nearly had a nervous breakdown, started a college class, signed up for a mission trip, been rejected for several jobs, and completely changed my hair. i think that about covers it ^^

there has been way too much going on for me to sum everything up. theres probably more stuff that i cant remeber...and theres definately stuff im just gonna leave out. im really kinda in a weird mix of depressed and content/happy too. im not sure what to do about that, sometimes its like im being ripped apart.

ive been having problems at home that i wish would just stop. im stuck with the ones who i cant stand most of the times, but i dont want to go back to the other one. at one i get ignored and brushed off like i dont exist...im just there to babysit or something else. but at the others, its disgusting and suffocating.

also ive been trying to work through a lot of issues...its not working...or maybe it is. either way i just sat in my room and cried quietly to myself for a while in the middle of the afternoon and no one even noticed. im tired of not being noticed, but theres not much i can do.

i miss my friends terribly, especially you amber. i havent seen you in forever and have no way to contact you. if you ever read this, contact me! i really want to hang out with my friend seth, but ive been basically trapped here...but soon ill be able to go back for at least a little while...

so other than periods of feeling extreme lonliness and depression as well as anger and hoplesness, ive been pretty good. if i was anybetter id be dead 8D oh well. im tired of this already...think ill go to bed...

REUPDATE!!! I CANT COUNT!!! so im trying again, lol.

I FAILED SO HARD!!! i forgot to fill it out before i accidently sent it. lol, whoops. oh well, i fix it noa ^^

ANIME/MANGA NERD
[x] You watch anime. (Yesh!)
[x] You read manga. (All the time)
[x] You buy/collect anime DVDs or manga volumes. (not all the time, cuz im poor)
[x] You own some other form of anime/manga merchandise. (Plushies, toys, cards lol)
[x] You have referred to an anime character as 'hot' before. (too many to count)
[x] You have cosplayed. (Duuuuurrrr....)
[x] You have done so in public. (hehe LOTS)
[x] You have been to an anime/manga convention. (and I love them!)
[x] You have created/joined a fanclub for an anime/manga character. (yay for Naruto!)
[x] You have created/joined a hateclub for an anime/manga character.
[x] You have squealed when you found out somebody had the same name as an anime character you knew.
[x] You enjoy drawing anime. (Yes, even tho i suck)
[x] People you know know you as the 'anime' person. (not really, theres way too many of those at my school)
[x] You know that it is pronouced 'mawnguh' and not 'manga' like it is spelled.

Anime/manga nerd = 14

ART NERD
[x] You like art.
[x] You actually consider yourself an artist.
[x] When using art supplies, the brand of them matters to you.
[x] You have a favorite brand.
[x] You have asked for art supplies as a Christmas/birthday gift before. (i love getting markers and pens)
[x] You give people your drawings as gifts.
[x] People actually ask for your drawings.
[x] You are/were known as 'the art person' at your school.
[x] Instead of just 'brown' or ' pink', you'd be specific; it's 'sienna brown' or 'blush pink'.
[x] You have taken an art class outside of school.
[x] You have considered a career as an artist.
[x] Your school papers are always covered in doodles. (lol, mine are always weird and freak my english teacher out. now i do it on purpose, haha)
[x] You have a favorite artist.
[x] Your drawings have been framed.
[x] You carry a sketchbook with you everywhere you go. (indeed i do, and my friends tease me about mine because i draw from the back because im left handed and its a spiral sketch book)

Art nerd = 15 wow, art nerd own only becuasee theres more in it than manga/anime nerd XD

MUSICAL NERD
[x] You play a musical instrument. (French Horn baby!!!)
[x] You play more than one instrument. (trombone too ^^)
[x] You actually really enjoy playing your instrument. (depends...i usually do)
[x] You've given your instrument a name. (yup, i named my trombone toby. only that one cuz i dont own my french horn)
[x] You've participated in an extracurricular activity for your instrument. (marching band, and like a gazillion other things ^^)
[x] You are known by what you play. (sadly, yes. and no i will not elaborate further)
[x] You listen to classical music. (yes :3)
[x] You have a favorite composer.
[x] All of your friends are from your band/orchestra class (not really, just most of them)
[x] You write music.
[x] You've had discussions with your friends about music; your favorite composers/instruments/musical time periods/key/etc... (in band YES)
[x] You have considered a professional career with your instrument. (yeah, but i don't think i am good enough)
[x] You are never nervous playing for other people. (nah, i had fun doing it)

Musical nerd = 13

VIDEO GAME NERD
[x] You play video games. (not very well thouhg, haha)
[] You own more than 4 different video game systems. (psh, yeah right. did you miss when i said im POOR)
[x] You've had debates over which system is the greatest. (xbox vs playstation)
[x] You play video games every day.
[x] You have played a video game for over 10 hours.
[x] You have songs from your favorite video games on Cds.
[x] You love to talk about video games.
[x] You memorize the dates for when a new game is being released.
[] People know you as the 'gamer' person.
[x] You spend more time on video games than you do hanging out with friends. (i love my friends but i dont get out much)
[] Your gaming system is in your room. (no because it would get lost V_V
[] You have preferences when it comes to what company your game came from. (not really )
[x] You've had debates over which company is the best. (well~ Squeenix IS pretty awesome....)
[x] You keep playing a game until you beat it. (and THATS why i spend morethatn 10 hours a day on htem, lol.)
[x] It makes you angry when you found out somebody looked up cheat codes on the internet to beat their game. ( at least try before u cheat)

Video game nerd = 11

COMPUTER NERD
[x] You use the computer every day - (i go crazy when i don't get online)
[x] You have an account/username on some sort of social website.
[x] You go into random internet chatrooms.
[x] You spend at least 2 hours a day on the computer. (haha, waaaay more than that!)
[x] You use computer faces. ( ^^ )
[x] It is hard to go a day without using the computer. (i'd lose my mind)
[x] You spend time in online forums.
[x] In the forum/chatroom you use, you are known there by everyone else. (usually yeah)
[x] You have friends you have only met online. (oh yeah lol)
[] You have actually met an online friend in person.
[x] U cn ezly rd 'txttlk.' (there's a difference between txt tlk and just bad grammar)
[x] You have said 'lol' or 'omg' in speech that is not online. (wtf of course!)
[x] You can type really, really fast. (ya but unfortunately i didnt learn until AFTER my typing class that i nearly failed)

Computer nerd = 12

so, needless to say anime nerd wins out, closely followed by the band and art nerd...YUP! thats me! 8D

SO ANYWAY....art wins, becuase theres more of it...but i filled out EVERY SINGLE ONE for music and manga/anime...what does this tell you? that i have no life...oh well, i enjoy myself, haha ^_^

You are an Innocent Uke! [link]

Cute and sweet, and most gentle of all uke, whips and chains are not for you - you just want someone to love you. You are often spotted in candy shops wearing furry kitty ears, where you are sure to be noticed by the Romantic Seme, whose protective instincts will kick in and will only want to take you home and love and protect you. And you, of course, will be more than happy to spend the rest of your life baking cookies for your seme.

Most compatible with: Romantic Seme
Least compatible with: Sadistic Seme, Don't Fuck With Me Seme

so um..heres a link! ^^ [link]

oh! and i found out that this guy i like likes me too, but hes too shy too ask T_T sadly i am too. so i dont know what tto do. ive never been i this situation before....tis hard! T_T

cuzi can haha.

um, so i have kind of been avoideng the comouter lately, sorry. the reaso is cuz its too feakin cold out where my computer is. plus, its being retarded and i havent had the patience to mess with it.

up, so the new school year has started. im excited for my classes. i really hope this year goes better than last year, and so far i pretty sure it will. i dont really have anyhting new to talk about though...

needless to say i might update with stuff if i think about it. OH! i forgot. i registered for the ACT today. im kind of lookin forwad to that...ish...

ive also decided to start a kind of romance story using oc's. but dont expect that to turn out to be anyhting haha.